August 5, 2016 |
Despite being a straightforward hike, the Dent de Brenleire saw us all chuck a wobbly along the way. But at the same time, it was one of our greatest accomplishments as a family.
A line of mountains forms the eastern horizon from our village. For years now, two in the middle have been calling to James. 
This year, he decided, was the year to answer. He planned out a route to climb both in one day – and last Sunday we set out.
We made the mistake, though, of letting the kids stay up late the night before. Even with a sleep in, they did not want to go hiking. There was complaining, and dawdling, and parental snapping. All before we even left the house.
One of the disputes was over Kai taking a travel sickness pill. He refused, so of course there was a vomit on the way. What with this, and the late start, the sun was already high in the sky by the time we started hiking.
Kiran trailed behind from the start, deliberately slow. Kai was chirpy as we walked up the valley through pastures of flowers… but began to protest when the path began to gently rise.
We thought we’d been pretty clear that we were climbing two mountains today – but even so, he seemed surprised that the path was getting steeper and steeper. Lollies didn’t help, and neither did an earlier-than-planned lunch. I tried to be encouraging.
I managed to keep him going, but it was painful and progress was slow. Too painful and slow for James, who had so looked forward to climbing these two mountains, who had spent so much time planning the route, and could now see the day slipping away without us even getting to the first ridge. It all became too much.
I wasn’t ready to give in though. Partly because it was James’ dream to climb these mountains and having come this far I didn’t really want to turn back – only to come again another day. But mostly because if we gave in… well, would we ever hike again as a family? Or would the kids use this as a precedent to be as annoying as possible on every future walk, until we couldn’t stand it anymore?
As unpleasant as this prospect was, our motto – we are not a family of whingers – was not the only thing at risk. What about those essential traits we’re supposed to be instilling, like resilience, grit and determination? Even some of the old-fashioned ones would be very welcome – suffering in silence being but one example. Surely by turning back we were risking the kid’s characters? Their very chance of future success? No, we had to achieve something today, dammit.
I brokered a deal. We’d give up on the second peak, Dent de Folliéran, but still climb the first, Dent de Brenleire. Continued promises of rock scrambling got Kai up onto the ridge… but when the rocks failed to appear immediately, he lost it completely. In the wonderful sibling relay of good child-bad child, Kiran suddenly bounded ahead, pleasant and chatty, while Kai sat down and refused to budge.
Now it was my turn to snap. I’d have happily left him there at this point, only the ridge was very steep, with a cliff on one side and a strong wind blowing. We were NOT turning back, he could NOT stay by himself, so he HAD to go on.
Luckily there’s a good parent-bad parent relay too. James, now calm and patient, kept Kai going, leaving me to stomp out my tantrum. We reached the promised rocks and Kai’s mood – and speed – improved. So much so that he left me behind and raced up to the top. I scrambled up the last part to a happy chorus of “Come on mummy, you’re nearly there!”
The kids were so proud to have made it. I was frankly amazed we were all there – and smiling no less! The triumph was even sweeter when Kai, then Kiran, and then I apologized to one another.
It wasn’t a long walk, or the most spectacular, but overcoming the whining and unpleasantness to share the joy of reaching the summit together as a united family was one of our greatest feats – and a lesson in perseverance and accomplishment that I hope the kids will remember for ever. Even more than the truly tough walks we’ve done.
Plan your trip
Hike info and trail – Dent de Brenliere, Fribourg, Switzerland